Johnny Johnny Johnny. How long have I been telling you that wearing these skinny jeans just ain’t right. I didn’t need no stinkin doctor to tell me.
Isn’t it obvious that when your junk is all mashed up inside your body cavity that it just isn’t normal?
Please Johnny we don’t want to see you do any more irreparable damage to yourself than you already have.
I’m sure second Glance or The Dress Code can take that closet full of skinny jeans of yours off your hands.
Before it’s too late Johnny. You mean too much to the our community with all of the civic minded good that you do. Please. If not for your boy Joey C, if not for your community, then do it for Luke and Ruby so when pictures of you surface when they are in college they won’t have to deny you as their father or just say it was some terrible photoshop joke that made it look that way.